Maintaining the spark in a relationship is tough enough as it is, let alone when you and your partner are apart by hundreds or thousands of miles.
Long-distance couples face a unique set of challenges, including time zones (it could be early morning in one location and bedtime in another), shoddy phone coverage or WiFi, and the heartache of going long periods without seeing each other face to face.
Although keeping an “LDR” is difficult, it is not impossible. And if you can get through the difficulties, you will probably lay a solid foundation for the relationship’s future.
To anyone wondering if they can manage a long-distance relationship, my response is yes, it is definitely possible as long as you remain engaged, loyal, and is willing to shorten the distance one day.
Being apart from one another is difficult, but it is the triumph over these challenges that makes love stories unique, unforgettable, and treasured.
The sacrifice will be well worth it if the person is right for you.
The two main components that keep a long-distance relationship flourishing are consistency and quality of contact.
Love and trust, as well as a genuine desire to be together, must also be present.
Below is the list of 13 life-saving tips for those in a long-distance relationship, that too reported by people who have personal experience with the situation (including me).
1. Set some expectations
When entering into a long-distance relationship, it’s important to set reasonable goals.
When one person defies what the other assumed was a relationship law, so much can be left unsaid, causing major rifts in the relationship.
To lay a stable base for your long-distance relationship, answer the following questions to yourself:
- Is it true that we are exclusive to each other?
- When we’re apart, what do we deem “cheating”?
- Do we want to live close to (or with) each other in the future? If that’s the case, what’s our strategy for getting there?
- How often will we communicate with each other?
- Will we be able to see each other in person someday? If so, how often and when will you do it?
- What modes of contact can we use (phone calls, text messages, FaceTime, WhatsApp, e-mail, pigeons, or written letters)?
2. Quality and consistency
A long-distance relationship, like every other form of relationship between two people, must be nurtured.
In today’s digital age, staying linked over long distances is much easier than it was before.
Make plans to spend time with each other on dates and times that are convenient for both of you.
So, while some couples go out on dates that include dinner and a movie, your date might consist of watching an episode of your favorite season while chatting online.
Even though you cannot cuddle, conversations while watching something together feel like you next to them.
You must be wondering how can I tell you about the feeling, it is because my girlfriend is from Bangkok and I live in India.
We often do such things together.
(PS: I use her Netflix account as well)
3. Set a date
If you plan to spend an hour or two every Friday night remotely with your lover, then this time block must be as important as a standing date between a couple who can spend time physically together.
Treat the time you’ve set for your “meeting” as relevant and high on your priority list.
This not only means that you spend some quality time maintaining the relationship regularly, but it also shows the other person that you care enough to make an effort.
4. Be emotionally involved
If your relationship hasn’t yet progressed to the point that you can declare your love for one another, a tenderness is needed at the very least to keep you together when you’re apart.
Long-distance relationships are difficult to maintain, so if you’re not emotionally involved, it’s unlikely to succeed.
5. Spending some quality time together
If you spend time together remotely, the time you spend should be deliberate and focused on the other person rather than other distractions.
If your “date” devolves into you taking other phone calls when you’re supposed to be talking to your partner, they’ll probably think you don’t care enough to put in the effort.
Remember that a long-distance relationship is a precarious situation in which it’s easy to feel uncertain about your role in the other person’s heart.
6. Always have trust in one another.
A long-distance relationship can fizzle out quickly if there is no trust.
When a couple fails to check in with each other regularly, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking the other is up to no good.
For people who are insecure or jealous, a long-distance relationship is simply not a good idea.
As you’ll be making assumptions for other person being with someone else even though they are not.
As a result, don’t commit to a long-distance relationship with someone you don’t fully trust.
7. The reason for being in a relationship
A strong, shared passion should be present if you want a solid long-distance relationship; it must be more than a desire to one day feel love for the other person.
It serves as a motivator for all of your efforts and longings, as well as a motivation to remain together despite the distance gap.
8. Pleasing emotions
You’re well on your way to a solid relationship if you’re able to invest time and love in your partner.
The emotional bond between you and your partner will be strengthened by a reminder of your love regularly.
9. Valuing special occasions
Consider moments that you might be there for your partner if you lived closer together – work interviews, big business projects, major tests at school, a loved one’s death or illness – and do your best to “be there” for them as best you can from where you are.
A simple phone call, an email, a text, a small gift, or even flowers may show your concern and love, and oftentimes the effort is more valuable than the item sent.
Staying interested in the lives of others and letting them know you are there for them when they need you helps you stay close to each other.
10. Never give up hope
There will be times when long-distance sucks. Like really, really sucks.
And the only one who can make you feel better right now is the one you can’t be with.
It’s fine to express your feelings in those moments; weep, pound a pillow, write it down, whatever it takes.
But don’t hold your feelings back, and don’t feel obligated to keep them hidden.
Talk about it, because they are the only one who really knows what you’re going through.
Allow yourself to be in that unpleasant situation and know that it will pass.
11. Be unpredictably creative
Sending reminders of your love isn’t something you should save only for special occasions.
Reminders during the day will make you feel more connected and closer.
There’s a fine line between nice reminders and irritating persistence, so don’t bombard your partner with messages every hour proclaiming your affection and lamenting the lack of replies if they’re extremely busy throughout the day.
You know your partner better than anyone else, so find out what level of touch works best for both of you.
Here are some examples of texts/emails you might send:
- Have a wonderful day, babe!
- I’m thinking about you and missing you.
- Thank you for the great conversation last night.
- I’m looking forward to talking with you this afternoon!
- Babe! I love you.
12. Surprise ’em with a gift
You don’t need an excuse (or a large budget) to shake things up and give your LDR honey a present.
Changing what you usually do, particularly if you’re not a big gift-giver (not everyone is, and that’s fine), can be shocking and exciting for your partner.
These gifts are ideal for someone who is in a long-distance relationship.
13. Worth the time and effort
If you’re really meant to be with your partner, distance shouldn’t be a barrier to your relationship.
Long-distance relationships require a lot of effort, but they are well worth it if they allow you to stay with the one you love.
Any fruitful relationship, long-distance or otherwise, starts with a strong base.
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